Donate Life; Get a Pen. My trip to the DMV.
March 8, 2011
Apparently, when you turn 35 in Virginia you need to renew your license but you can’t do it online but you have to make a trip to
Since I’m always on top of these types of situations, I waited til it was a week away and went in to the DMV this past Friday. Their website said there was no wait at the location I usually go to while the other nearby one had a 30 minute wait. I went to the one with no wait but it turns out the DMV has a sick sense of humor. I waited in line for 20 minutes just to get a hand written number before being sent to sit in the cattle car.
I came prepared with my fully charged blackberry, headphones to listen to music, a magazine and I was actively emailing and instant messaging with friends. It was still hell.
Finally, my number was called because the system was down and I approached a guy who looked like he was turning 35 this year as well. Here is how the conversation went with the DMV Dude.
Me: I didn’t think you would ever call my number. I’ve been sitting there for 90 minutes trying not to breath the lady who smells of a dirty ashtray on one side and incense on the other.
DMV Dude: How can I help you?
Me: I’m turning 35 in a week and need a new license.
DMV Dude: Stand there and I’ll take your new picture.
Me: (smiling and concentrating on not having double chins)
DMV Dude: Please, don’t smile^.
Me: I don’t know how to not smile. (does stretch exercises to get my mouth to close)
*snap*
Me: I can’t see. I hope there isn’t a vision test now that I’m partially blind.
DMV Dude: That will be $35 and you’ll get your new license in 7-10 business days.
Me: What do I do with my expired license?
DMV Dude: (shrugs shoulders)
Me: Great, I can post it on Craigslist for an underage college student to pay for my new license.
DMV Dude: (Trys not to grin.)
Me: So, if I don’t get my license by next Friday, will I be driving around without a license?
DMV Dude: Yes.
Me: Crap. I guess I can only drive 19 miles over the speed limit now so it’s not considered reckless and driving without a license.
DMV Dude: ::Crickets::
DMV Dude: Since you’ve selected to be an organ donor, here is a pen to say thank you.
Me: Thanks a lot. I can’t wait to blow this taco stand. Umm… I mean leave.
I’m donating my organs and all I get is this stupid pen.
^Virginia now issues licenses in black and white of non-smiling people. The best part is that they've kept the same height and weight I was at 25 when I last renewed.
I win.
5 Comment:
Black and white is always a better option on a license. Is that because they take mug shots in black and white and it's easier to identify you?
Not at all looking forward to the next time I have to renew mine. That place is such a stinkin' nitemare to spend even 30 minutes in let alone 90!
Wow, that went really well even with a 90 minute wait. My Texas DMV story includes being chewed out by three women in bad fashion choices, one who had a curler still bobbing helplessly in her hair as she chewed me into tears in front of my 16 year old son.
Black and white seems weird. So, you only have to renew every 10 years? We have to renew every 4 in MN. Luckily there's a "license center" in the small town between where I work and live and there's never any wait. But they only take checks or cash, no credit/debit cards. Welcome to 1985.
You probably made DMVDude's year. I am sure everyone else he talks to is either stupid or boring.
:) Happy Birthday!
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